Reinventing yourself every day is really exhausting. Didn’t even realize I was doing it until recently. My great book writing adventure, started back in November for novel writer’s challenge (NaNoWriMo), had a side benefit of documenting my brain spatters on a fairly regular basis.
A computer crash also had something to do with it. I tried to upgrade the old girl one too many times and blew out the motherboard. So she was dead in the water, fried, all useless and broken. All this led to getting a new computer and cleaning my office. The new computer is here and I love, love, LOVE IT Thank you, Mr. Husband, for going along with this purchase.
The new computer led to needing to clear out 2 previous frankenputers that I had been raiding for parts. Poor things, their little computer guts hanging out all over the place. I have plans to assemble a home media server from the remains, but that’s a story for another day.
Cleaning the office started from a search and rescue mission to gather up all my notebooks, and all the files on various hard drives to consolidate them into one coherent jumble of book and scene snippets. Been spending the last few days going through them and reading various sections. I developed the habit of dating things when I write. It’s interesting because reading back to something I wrote in let’s say…. August of last year, I think “who are you? Whoever you are/were you have a completely different thoughts and outlook than I have today.”
Some days I feel like I’m the only dish left on a table that someone yanked the table-cloth out from. Odd man, out-of-place, a total different person from even a year ago. Should I have stayed on the table, or should I have gone flying off with the other dishes? Good Lord, why any of us want to make a deliberate effort remake ourselves is beyond me on these days. Just living one’s life and not paying any attention at all and the psyche decides to just go on evolving and changing without one’s knowledge or consent. Sheesh! The very nerve.
So I’m trying to assemble and get an overview of all the things I wrote over the past year for this book project. There is a common theme in there somewhere. I just know it. Now all I have to do is figure out what it is.