Never put a wine glass in the garbage disposal. Why, you may ask? Well it doesn’t work, duh! OK, it seemed logical at the time. An older friend swore to me on the ashes of her mother that putting coke bottles in the disposal would keep the blades sharp and was therefore good for it. The fact that we were well into our second bottle of wine at the time may have increased her degree of earnesty. Also my gullibility, but let’s not go there.
Months after receiving this pearl of wisdom, I was alone one evening entertaining myself in grand style. A glass of wine, a bottle of Clairol number A8. Didn’t want hubby of 2 years to know I color my hair. He never noticed the roots, of course. Yeah right. Anyway, I’m dancing around the house feeling all spunky with my forehead, hair and ears painted auburn, I dropped the damn glass. It shattered all over the kitchen floor and panic ensued. Oh crap, what to do with the evidence? Why was this “evidence”? Why was this a bad thing? Am I an airhead for breaking a wine glass while drinking wine? Those are all questions for another day.
Back to the main issue; why it didn’t occur to me to just sweep it up and pitch it I have no clue. Brilliant deduction led me to put it in the garbage disposal, stem and all. Turned on the garbage disposal and heard horrible noises that rank somewhere between a man slamming against the mirror in one of those Hollywood western bar fights and a car crash. Then silence followed by the ominous hum of a jammed disposal. My solution to this problem was to pretend that it didn’t exist. The next day my DH asked why there was a wine glass stem in the garbage disposal. I feigned ignorance. He was smart enough not to press the issue. Ah discretion is the better part of valor and marital bliss.