1969 Ford Fairlane/Torino GT convertible

Image via Wikipedia

The bible says that in the holy state of matrimony the “Two shall become as One.” Sounds good so far.  But, I do not see any guidance on what the blessed couple is supposed to do with all their stuff.

Husband and I married in our late forties. We both owned our own homes. I sold my condo and moved in with hub-man, so we ended up having 2 of everything. Been living here 6 years now and sometimes I still feel like I’m living out of a suitcase. Hubby claimed to be open to, but basically was deeply upset, by any disturbance in the force. I conducted an ongoing experiment where I moved a chair in the living room about a half-inch to the right everyday on my way out the door to work. You could tell by the dents in the carpet. Every night when I came home the chair is right back to it’s original position.  *Sigh* Gave it up after about a year, figured my theory was sufficiently proven.

We really didn’t think this through. His house was a very nice, elegant, kind of house that reminded me of living in a law office/museum/cry. There was no trace that the female of the species had ever spent time here.  It was, and still is, crammed with every thing he has collected since childhood. He even had movies on laser disc. I’ve never even heard of laser disks and I’m into gadgets. gets an alarming amount of business from me. Until we met he had not been out of the city we live in for about 20 years. I, in the other hand, have traveled the world extensively and believe in packing light, literally and figuratively. Proof in point, I went to Poland last year to visit on old friend bringing only a carry on weighing 12 pounds, and returned a week later with 3 additional pounds (shoes, of course.) Minimalism is right up my alley and my recent discovery of the Tiny House Concept has only added fuel to the fire..

However, I do have my own personal stuff that I don’t want crammed in the back of a closet or up in the attic. We live in Texas, so storing something in the attic is the cheaper, yet roughly equivalent, option to shooting your stuff off in a rocket and storing on the surface of the sun. Trust me, it will never be the same! Also, getting it up there in the first place means first backing the husbands truck, which is larger than my first apartment, out of the garage. This gives him fits. Why do Texas men insist on driving huge trucks that they pretend their wives are incapable of driving??? Probably so they can try to get away with not letting us, come to think of it. In the distant past, I drove a battered Ford Torino dragging a U-haul trailer from Miami, Florida to San Francisco, California via New York.  I know how to drive, thank you very much. This questionable accomplishment falls in my category of “it seemed like a good idea at the time” and will be discussed at some future date.

In my former condo was a glorious walk in closet that was mine, all mine. Today I share a closet with my husbands suits and ties he never wears, 75 identical t-shirts, assorted hunting rifles, and his collection of DVDs and now Blu-ray. I like modernistic, zen, simplistic, uncluttered surroundings. My motto is “when in doubt throw it out.” He likes huge leather furniture, dark wood, paintings of ships, and knick knacks of everything that was every given to him or his ancestors. His motto: “We might need that someday” or “I have to keep that, it belonged to great-aunt Featherbottom.” I think but don’t say “maybe she gave it away ‘cuz she didn’t want it.” Territorial battles ensue. I’ve toyed with the idea of giving him a fire hydrant as a present and suggesting that he take it out to the yard, whizz all over it, and get it out of his system. But that would only work in the yard. Back to square one inside the house.

copyright © Serenity Game

George Carlin stand up on Stuff (tiny bit of R rated language at the end)

A MUST read for couples planning on moving in together from the Happiness Project.

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