Hypochondriac Rant

Kugeln, yin and yang, Klangkugeln

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Whenever I am under the weather, I’m tortured by the fear of being perceived as a hypochondriac.  Does this mean that I have hypochondra-phobia? Made that up, by the way. I try to hide that I’m sick until my lips start turning blue, or husband notices that I’m laying in the floor not moving. Meaning, I’m not doing yoga.

Mr. husband has been very caring through this nasty bug, by the way. He takes my temperature 85 times a day, brings me food, strokes my hair, and orders me to stay in bed. I don’t argue. Hmm, he’s probably enjoying that part. He has also amazed me with his tact, which he usually keeps well under wrap. Asked him this evening if I looked sick. First he said “well you look like you feel better.” Then he steered me into the bathroom, cradled me in his arms, looked at us the mirror and said ”what do you think sweetie?” Gack! I will be staying home again tomorrow.

Growing up in my family it was not OK to be sick. This was the 60’s and Mom jumped on the macrobiotic, yin yang band wagon as it whizzed by. Brown rice and Mu tea was the order of the day. White flour white sugar were four letter words at our house. Overall we were a pretty healthy crew except for one winter when the Hong Kong flu kicked our ass. The one problem with this eat healthy, think healthy, be healthy mind-set is that a “blame the victim” mentality can develop.

It goes like this. Wow, I feel terrible, I’m sick.  OH…. you are? Followed by a suspicious glare. Well WHY? Have you been thinking bad thoughts, is the moon in the seventh house? Have you been sleeping enough or too much, using coffee? Using that fruit of the devil, white sugar, eating genetically modified foods with chemicals. Do you live near power lines? Are you taking vitamins or too much supplements. Ya know you should not eat meat, oh wait a minute, you eat should meat at every meal.  Are you getting enough sunshine and fresh air. Well no, sunshine causes skin cancer so instead I take this little white magical vitamin D pill that makes up that.

You cholesterol is too high, have you been snorting butter again? Here, take this magic pink pill for that. The pill will make you so sick you will wish you were never born. But never you mind, honey child. And don’t worry your pretty little head about those pesky statistics that in the elderly population the incidents of strokes is much higher in people with lower than normal cholesterol, rather than high cholesterol. WE know what’s best for you.

OK, so that turned into a fevered rant. Anyway, what have I done to make myself sick? Well nothing other than living my life! Sometimes, shit happens.

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