Why do some people stare at you like a deer in the headlights when you mention having a dream? As in, you dream about something you would like to do someday. Or a destination on your bucket list. Dreams do not have to be logical, rational or fit in any box.
All to often, if I let one slip, it splats on the floor like a of cow pie at the feet of the naysayers. By Thor’s left buttock, I swear to erect a statue in their honor for pigeons to poop on! When this happens, I get a mental image of the top of their head flipping open and a mini turret pops up. They shoot me with a net slopped up with coal-tar. While I’m scraping it off the lecture begins.
Party Pooper: That place is dangerous. I heard that someone got hit by a bus there in 1942. Did you know that?
Me: Uh, no…
Party Pooper: You’re too old for that.
Me: Sez who? If I end up seeing the Pyramids on a scooter, so be it. I’ll hire someone to haul my happy ass up the stairs.
Party Pooper: I can’t go I have to…walk to the mailbox, plow the south forty, brush my teeth, have my fortune told, etc.
Me: OK fine stay here. I’ll send you a post card.
Party Pooper: Do you realize how much that would cost?”
Me: I was just dreaming out loud. I didn’t ask you for a cost projection, but thanks just the same.
Party Pooper: How would you get time off from work.?
Me: I’m 50+ executive assistant (read glorified secretary), for crying out loud. Trust me, I have climbed as high up the corporate ladder as I can or want to go. Worse comes to worse, I can climb back on the hamster wheel at any time.
Result of this rant is the following, in no particular order.
First Draft of My Bucket List:
- Visit Paris, see all the wonderful art galleries. I want to be insulted in French just for the thrill of it. Don’t speak the language, but I’ll be able to tell by the look on their face. Or the fact that I am being escorted by both arms to the nearest available exit.
- Visit the Pyramids: ‘nuff said.
- Visit the Grand Canyon again, this time with tranquilizers. I’m afraid of heights. First visit there I got so freaked out that I started hyper ventilating. My traveling companions threw me down and poured brandy down my throat. (never travel without emergency liquor.)
- Fly an airplane and buzz my daughter’s house.
- Walk the Freedom Trail in Boston again.
- Jump on to a velcro wall.
- Made a big red candle from melted down wax lips.
- Go horseback riding in Nepal.
- Crawl across the conference table with a pen in my teeth and bitch slap the next person that uses the word “utilize” instead “use”, or mumbles things like “projected benefits” or “economies of scale” or “synergistic.”