Human Migration Patterns

I am convinced that the real reason humans wandered all over and populated the planet is because they were lost. The men folk would not stop and ask for directions. Scientists, themselves mostly male, except for the last 100 years, did not recognize this characteristic  and called it “migration.”

DNA Migration

Missed the Turn Off

I beg to differ. My theory is that Mr. and Mrs. Prehistoria and the kids set out one morning to visit the local TeePee Depot. They left from a place just east of Mesopotamia.  24 lunar cycles later they are wandering around in what is now Idaho. Mrs. Pryhistoria hasn’t spoken to the Mister for 2 months. He bit her head off when she told him to ask for directions before they headed up the Rocky Mountains.

Last summer they camped in what would eventually be Up-State New York. It got out of hand. The son of the local Chieftain Hooky Kook made a DNA donation. As a result their daughter will be blessing them with a little bundle soon.  And thus our genetic material encircled the globe.

There is only one thing that saved the human race from becoming extinct through infanticide. The kids did not spend that entire 2 years of the trip asking “are we there yet? are we there yet?” One benefit of being lost on prehistoric earth is that no had yet figured out where there is.

What do you think?

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