Get That Log Outta Yer Eye

You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. The Bible – International Standard Version (©2008)

Grandson has a ginormous log in his eye. No wonder he can’t see past the end of his nose. His latest habit is pointing out tiny little errors made by the contractors who remodeled our bathrooms. For someone who needs glasses and refuses to wear them, it’s amazing the minute details of the mistakes of others he notices.

This makes me extremely uncomfortable because it causes my life to flash before my eyes…again. How many times have I done this? Too many times to count. I get this mental image of signing up for vacation bible school for remedial guidance and getting one of those teeny little day care chairs stuck on my hips.

I finally snapped at  Grandson and said “let me tell you what went on with the professional painters, Mr. Perfect!”

  • The professionals didn’t take a week and a half to do something that should have taken 2 days.
  • They didn’t stop every 5 minutes to yak on their cell phone.
  • They didn’t take a 20 minute smoke break every hour.
  • They didn’t pretend to ask my advice so they could argue with me every hour on the hour.
  • They didn’t track paint all over the house.
  • They didn’t spend half their time pointing out the errors made by previous workmen.
  • I didn’t have drag them out of bed every morning, get them to work and then supervise them all damned day.
  • They cleaned up after themselves and didn’t leave a mess from the clean up all over the kitchen sink and faucet.
  • They did this clean up the very day they finished. (not 3 days later) And did it so well that the only way I even knew they were in the house was painted walls and a bill to pay.

So grasshopper. When you have crossed all of the critiques above off you list of work ethic problems; THEN and only then can will we treat you as a professional painter. End of lecture.

5 responses

  1. How did my son come to be living at your house?!?! You have described him to a T…except for the arguing. The daughter does that, although she is much better about it now that she’s almost 40! Perhaps you will have better luck with your grandson than I have had all these past years with my son. He’s 33. I would love the magic potion of success when and if it comes your way. He has great intentions, difficult follow through… especially when he has to run off every 15 minutes. Verrrrrrry suspicious.

    1. I almost wish your son was living at my house …. so I could send him back! 🙂 My daughter has also never grown out of arguing and she’s 39. sigh

  2. You know… I have to admit to a bit of Mr Grandson’s predilection for being far more critical of other’s workmanship and habits than my own… Some of us (most of us?) never fully grow out of it… I suppose it’s a kind of self protection and shoring up of our self-esteem. I shall endeavour to be more mindful – and you know… at 24, Mr G is still a wee lad, barely out of training pants – you’ve still got 5 years to get him right… lucky you!

    1. LOL I’m not saying I never do it. But usually I have the attitude of “if you did it and didn’t have to, then it’s fine by me.” (to the contrary of this post ***cough***) Maybe my deadly sin is sloth? Mr. G is still in training pants I think. I had to tell him yesterday that I was tired of seeing his butt crack. Why do some guys never figure out that it’s not cute after the age of 3?

      1. I understand it has something to do with identifying with prisoners, who are not allowed to have a belt and who have to eat bad food so they are wasting away and their trousers are falling down…
        Yeah, I don’t get it either…

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