Projects Scare Me

Typical Project

A few days ago Madame Titirangi Storyteller suggested that I get a project. My first reaction was, great idea!  After contemplating this for a while I realized…Projects scare me.

It’s a left over reaction from the Corporate dimension of existence. At my last job before the glorious retirement/layoff, the slightest whiff of a project curdled my blood. A project meant that the project team (read pool of available slaves) were supposed to say good-bye to family, give up evenings and weekends to slave away at something. In half the time and with half the funding needed. If it was successful, the project manager got the credit. If it failed it was MY fault.

This particular project manager was a princess with English as second language problem. And extremely sensitive about it. I pride myself that we didn’t come to blows. If we had been co-workers in a different setting, such as a bar we, probably would have. And a glorious cat fight it would have been. Sell tickets and popcorn. Yea that’s it.

Our boss inadvertently pitted us against each other on a daily basis. Ms. Project manager would write reports with incredible, excruciating detail. Documenting (numbers provided by me) each and every measurement,  phone call, hiccup, and phase of the moon.

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However, she had a major problem with verb tenses and assigning masculine or feminine traits to objects. A frequent problem for a person who’s first language is Spanish or French. My job was to take this 15 page epistle and translate/condense it into a brief, comprehensible 2 page report so that it would not be immediately tossed in the nearest rubbish can.

This was my forte. I can take in a huge dump of information, rethink it, organize it, and spit it back out in a few sentences or paragraphs so that someone can say “Oh, was that what this is all about?” Madame project manager hated me for it, even though she received accolades for these “excellent” reports.

So I’m afraid of projects. I must realize that this does not need to be the case now. I get to choose or reject a project. I decide how it is done, how it’s funded, who works with me, how long it’s going to take, and even decide that the whole thing is not working and toss it, if need be. Now that actually sounds like fun.

10 responses

  1. You can call it anything you like – that doesn’t matter. It will be War & Peace Part II. Maybe not as long.

    (Note – I think books should be between 270-325 pages long. That is the perfect length to weave a good yarn… Tolstoy excepted, of course…)

    1. Ah, I’m going to interpret this as a kick in the pants. 🙂 The first flew chapters of my book just sort of squirted out of my brain almost by accident. Then I went on a reading binge and fell into the trap of comparing myself to other writers and it all ground to a screeching halt. I’m gonna stop that and get back to it.

      1. You and I should keep each honest on the writing thing – I keep getting sidetracked too!

        1. Good idea 🙂

  2. LOL @ Titirangi!

    You are in control, Madame! Go for it!

    1. I am itching to go for it. I know for a fact that I can be ready leave the country in 30 minutes. I’ve done it before 🙂

  3. Baby steps, dahling… first the idea of the idea… then the idea… then the acceptance of the idea… on you go!
    I hear War & Peace Part Deux is due in 2015…

    1. OMG. I am NOT going to read War Peace part deux! If there is such a thing? Are you pulling my leg? Well maybe. I have until 2015 to decide.

      1. OH no – you will not be reading W&PII… not at all. I would not wish that on you – at least not yet.

        Your task is to write it. You’ve got three years. Getting planning now…

      2. Write it??? OMG…. It was all I could do to read it. But I do want to write a book. I’ve even started one. Got a few chapters done and got side tracked. Need to re-visit it asap.

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