Premature Ridiculation

EEK! They were right all along

I just hate Premature Ridiculation. I made that up. But it’s happened to you, I’ll bet cash money on that. You start to tell someone about an idea or dream of something you want to try and BAM! There it is.

Before you manage to get the complete thought out of your mouth, the Premature Rediculation factor kicks in. You are ridiculed by “well meaning” friends or family. “That’s a crazy idea. That place is dangerous, haven’t you listened to the news lately? (no) That will never work. Someone already tried that and failed.” So? The Wright Brothers didn’t fly the first time they tried either. And even lived to tell about it, so there!

There are drugs now for ailments we didn’t even know we had. Advertisements on TV instruct you to ask you doctor if Wombatizine is right for you. No hint of what it is for, just ask your Doctor. I have absolutely no interest in any new drug unless it increases my bust size and makes me giggle a lot, with side effects such as astral projection, sprouting wings, and unbreakable bones.

Gave some thought to what form of delivery system a drug to combat Premature Rediculation should take. I don’t think I want to take it daily as a preventive measure. If I took all the preventive meds that doctors want me to take combined in one pill it would be the size of the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex. How weird is that? To live in a Metroplex? Sounds very SciFi-ish.

Perhaps an aerosol spray like mace or shark repellent spray. One little puff into the squinched up face of a PR victim and their face relaxes. They say things like “wow, that sounds interesting” or “have fun” and mean it. The lingering effect could be repeated bouts of imagination and thinking outside the box. A cumulative effect would be nice, also. Over time they start coming up with their own plans and ideas and tell you about them. Maybe even invite you to participate.

I will invent it and call it RedicuzineXL© The XL stands for extended release. I know more than a few people who have this unmentionable and embarrassing condition. Maybe I could throw a party and slip it in the Margaritas. Yes!

19 responses

  1. Great addition to the English language, young lady!

    1. Cool. I made an addition to the English language. Now that’s an accomplishment.

  2. This has happened to me way too many times–and I’m not even kidding! Love your drug name!

    (On another note, I never got the email about this post. I’m starting to wonder if I’m not getting announcements of new posts by others, as well. I just came by to ask you about your daughter, and low and behold–a missed post!)


    1. I think sometimes when WordPress does changes things go all wonky for a few days.

  3. If you’re slipping things into margaritas, that’s a party I want to attend! Love it.

  4. Very good. I agree. On the odd occasion that I have delivered Premature Ridiculation (for instance, when my wife wanted to go sky-diving — “Don’t you know people die from that.”) I have felt quickly giddy with Self-Justification Syndrome followed by Miserable Pratism Comedown for which there is no cure.
    PS. Re: your Gravatar………….are you sure you’re not Sharon Gless? 🙂

    1. LOL yes people die from Sky Diving, but they can choke to death on a good steak. Which is why I never eat steak alone. Unfortunately if self-justification is a syndrome I’m in big trouble. Maybe there is no cure yet. But hopefully there is treatment. I had to look up Sharon Gless. Thanks for the compliment. She’s an attractive woman 🙂

  5. WORD! I’ve gotten to the point where I do or say what pops into my head. If people think I’m weird, so be it. But at the same time, I’m comfortable reveling in my weirdness because I don’t really care if people think that about me. If I’m doing something I believe is correct and people express doubt, I’m a quavering teenager all over again.

    My recent “hell yeah” moment was dropping a boring minor and deciding to study German next semester. But would I have stayed so adamant if my parents had expressed doubt? Perhaps. I’m sure as heck happy my dad cheered me on.

    Hehe, a huge chunk of the world is in desperate need of RedicuzineXL.

    1. Good for you. If you toe every line in college it’s all down hill from there 🙂

  6. Great blog and soooo relatable. When I was going to court reporting school over 25 years ago I was told by a well-meaning relative that I would never get a job, this was an obsolete career. At the time I was devastated, but kept plugging away regardless of her dire warning. The school was extremely tough (about 75% dropout rate) and expensive for a family with three children. Today Illinois is pushing for people to enter the reporting field because of the projected shortage. I have experienced PR many, many times over the years and would so purchase your spray! Great plan!

    1. I let myself get suckered into studying the accounting profession in college. The reasoning was “whether the economy is good or bad, corporations will always need accountants.” Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! ***wipes eyes and laughs some more*** The entire department of accountants that I worked in lost their jobs because their tasks were “off shored” in April of this year. This equated to me loosing my job also because an empty department does not need a den mother/support staff. Off shoring is the new corp speak for sending jobs to other countries. It sounds so innocuous until you look under the hood.

      To me working in accounting was much less interesting than watching paint dry. It was killing my soul. And guess what, companies can lie much easier with numbers than words. I’ve seen it in action so many times.

      1. I studied accoutning – well, business administration actually – because I missed out on med school by 2 marks as a mature age student and had to kids to feed! But I changed professions somewhere in my 40s and concentrated on systems, I now wear a CPA and IT hat, Works for me, I love the systems stuff. Being a Finance Manager was just boring – from my perspective!

  7. I think maybe the Decision Maker in our visa case suffered this condition? 😆

    1. Yes this deplorable condition is rampant in government workers. I think it lurks in the air vents and spreads over an entire complex with vicious speed. It’s possible to catch from just entering the building. (unless you hold your breath)

      1. 😆 – Love it!

  8. Oh yes, I know this well… it’s for anyone who carries silly dreams and idealism with them into their 30s and beyond… an old friend recently sighed at me when I told her what I was up to these days – and then asked me if I was ever going to grow up and get over these ridiculous ideas. And she was serious… Back when we were both young we were both passionately idealistic – going to change the world. And we both got married and raised families along the way – but somehow she seemed to disappear into the minutiae of life, into family squabbles and business and work and houses… hard to say, but she lost her ‘herness’ along the way. I suspect she is a wee bit envious rather than truly disdainful of me for my lifelong foolishness – but still – she does think I’m ridiculous…

    1. Well I certainly do not think you are ridiculous. Not even in the slightest. I’ll put you on the list for clinical trials for my RidicuzineXL. 🙂 I’m thinking of marketing in as a small container that could hang on a necklace, lanyard, or keyring.

  9. Fear of being ridiculed kills far too many dreams. It took me two years after I decided I wanted to be a writer before I told anyone because of that fear. Good blog.

    1. I hear you. Let that particular fear stifle me too many times.

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