Destination Weddings – Please Spare me

extreme wedding

Extreme Wedding - Yeeee Haaaa

Ah, the Destination Wedding. Please spare me the joy. I’ve traipsed down the aisle to wedded bliss three times now. This last one is going to stick if for no other reason than I’m never doing it again!

Awww, big hugs to you Mr. Husband, I love you with all my heart and even more than my luggage. But honey, if you dropped dead tomorrow, I would spent the rest of my life being a merry widow. No one could replace you! ?! (Wonder if I get extra kudos for that) OK, I’m old and bit jaded. So what’s your point?

Young brides, please listen to me. I know that a wedding is your special day.  But in the big picture, it’s just one day. Do you really want to start out your married life by alienating all your friends and relatives? A destination wedding is the ultimate scenario of “I want Daddy and everyone else to fund my fantasies” and it goes downhill from there.

Ladies, if you want to get married in a tree house in Borneo wearing fig leaves and a fruit hat. Go for it. Just don’t expect us all to troop over to Borneo with you. Wouldn’t it be more romantic to have a small private ceremony with just the Groom , the minister, and few close friends who want to be there?

Going on a trip is an expensive and exhausting proposition and should only be undertaken when people are going where they want to go for the reason they want to go there. For some of us it may be the only trip we can afford for several years or decades. If the economy keeps sliding down the tube.  Hee hee, I had to slip that in there just for hell of it.

make up disaster

Related to the Bride or Groom?

There are many things I’d rather do than pay big bucks to spend a few days cooped up with gaggle of cranky relatives and in-laws I only see once a year at an open bar. Some of my in-laws have made it excruciatingly clear that is how they feel about me also, just for the record. I never understand that.  I’m such a likable person and I’m neeeever sarcastic or snide, when I’m asleep. Which I will be after 3 beers.

Another thing that gets me after these destination weddings is that it kind of feels like I’m invited to the honeymoon. I’m always tempted to go bang on the newlywed’s heart shaped door and yell “hey, what’s with you two??? The party is still rocking. I came all the way to Borneo to see you two kids hanging all over each other, being all lovey dovey.  In luv 4ever. So get down to the pool pronto. Make it snappy!”… “And put some damn Visine in your eyes, we’re taking pictures!” Lots of pictures, thousands of pictures.

I guess I should be honored to be invited to the wedding. And I am, but hey.

16 responses

  1. This cracked me up and I liked that cranky relatives is a tag. Thanks for saying what you think without apology! 🙂

    1. LOL I could probably write a book about cranky relatives. But, then I’m probably one myself. Thanks for stopping by.

  2. Hahaha … this is great. I hope my two girls elope – I think they will both want extravaganzas. Not. Going. To. Happen. Excellent point – it’s just one day, people. Personally didn’t think past that day – woo, 20 years later had to extricate. Aggghhh … the whole topic makes me want to go drink tequila shots. Right now.

    1. Oh tequila shots, good idea! Start informing your girls now that they need to start a hope chest bank account or plan on eloping. 🙂

  3. Anyone who invites me to a “destination wedding” is getting a Thanks, but no thanks. If I scrapped together the money to attend, they wouldn’t be getting a present, that is for sure.

    Destination weddings are for the rich (or wannabe rich) and while I made a few lawyers marginally richer (I don’t think they made any money out of our case) I am counting my pennies. My father’s words: “Watch the pennies, the pounds look after themselves.” I am pretty sure he wasn’t the first to say it!

    1. I’m wondering if I can just send a present to the destination instead of myself 🙂

      1. That would be my strategy!

  4. Kudos to the countries (and hotels) that make destination weddings possible. A good alternative to Las Vegas, I suppose.

    1. I kinda like Las Vegas 🙂 It’s so crass.

  5. Love the new look on your site! And re: destination weddings…I agree that it almost feels like going on the honeymoon…not fun.

    1. Thanks, glad you like the new do 🙂

  6. Interesting… I’ve had a few workmates who had destination weddings – not all that uncommon down here. Some of them were quite open that the intention of having a destination wedding (in Rarotonga, Fiji, etc which are less than 4 hours flight from here, considered close, actually)… their intention was to keep all those rellies and family friends away. They figure only the ones who are really close and care will come. The rest will just send a gift. Rather mercenary – but having just gone through a wedding, I can see their point. (Not that my daughter’s wedding had this specific issue, being that she is an immigrant/emigrant anyway so she’s a ‘destination relative’ to the folks that came.)

    I suggest if you don’t want to go send them money. They’ll be thrilled. Especially if it comes to oh… 25% of what actually attending the wedding would cost! For Borneo 2-5% would do the job.

    1. 25% of what the wedding would cost? I’d have to sell a kidney 🙂

      1. no no! what you would spend to attend the wedding! sheesh! at our age, we can’t afford to mess with our kidneys!

  7. Call me weird if you like, but I love the notion of a destination wedding. As a lesbian in Kentucky, a destination wedding is the only kind I’m likely to have.

    1. Well you do have a point 🙂 But think hard before you invite 18 thousand of your closest friends.

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