My Eyelashes Left on the 3:10 to Yuma


I swear they really did. That’s my working theory anyway. In my grand and glamorous youth I had really long eyelashes. They were so long that it was difficult to find glasses that were comfortable because my lashes would brush against the lenses and irritate my eyes.

Well, don’t have that problem now. If they didn’t go so far as Yuma, the next theory is that they migrated to my chin and are living a happy life there, much to my annoyance. I suspect they’ve even invited friends to come live with them.

Because this body is the only one I have, I try to stay on friendly terms with it. The problem is that it seems to have a fiendish sense of black humor. I’ve considered hiring a personal assistant just to keep track of all the medications and supplements I’m supposed to ingest on a daily basis.

Occasionally I go on strike and refuse to take any pills for an entire day.  Pffft, that always goes well. The lack of some random chemical coursing through my brain will send me into a freakish muscle spasm. The resulting sudden shriek of pain is embarrassing and scares the hell of whoever happens to be with me at the time. So I try to behave. It’s not easy though. I’ve spent a lifetime devoted to refusing to behave, just on general principles.

On another geo-political note, I consider myself damned lucky to live in a part of the world where my biggest problem on a given day is a sparsity of eyelashes, instead of whether or not my house is going to blow up.


8 responses

  1. If you really want to add length and thickness to your eyelashes again, try Neulash. You can read up on it at I’ve had sparse lashes all my life, but I tried Neulash and love it. No more gobbing mascara. 🙂

    1. I may do that. But at this point of my life I’m not sure I want to tinker with my eyes or eye lashes. Maybe I’ll just leave well enough alone. 😛

  2. I too have freaky long eyelashes and am amazed at the lack of sympathy I get from my lash-deprived friends when I complain about my lashes hitting my sunglasses. Bitches. My kids inherited my lashes, and in fact my son’s eye doctor scared me half to death when he was 6 and she examined his eyes. She was up close with the bright light on a stick and as she peered into his eye she gasped — never good when the doc gasps. My mind immediately flew to “He’s got glaucoma or some terrible eye disease.” She reassured me that nothing is wrong, but he has an extra row of eyelashes — she was surprised because it was something she’s never seen before! Whew.

    1. Wow I’ve never heard of an extra row of eyelashes either, that’s cool. I sort of miss my long eyelashes, but they seem happy enough on my chin. So who cares? 🙂

  3. I attributed my loss of eyelash length to mascara use — silly me! I haven’t experience a chin migration as yet but I’ll be on the watch for it now.

    1. I don’t think it’s mascara use that does it…unless you sleep in it. That will make them fall out for sure. The chin stuff happen until after menopause. Yippee! Gives you something to look forward to, eh? LOL

  4. How strange….my eyelashes have moved to my chin too!

    1. You know, and they didn’t even have to apply for a visa, that’s what irks me!

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