Near Earth Q-Tip

Q TipSometimes a major or even minor disaster can jerk back you to earth so fast it makes you dizzy. I was sitting in the den, wrapped in a blanky, zoning out, half writing and half watching Downton Abbey. Great show by the way.

Suddenly Mr. Husband appears at the door. He just said my name and stood there. I took one look at him and my heart jumped to my throat. Then our entire 10 years together flashed before my eyes. His body was white as a fish and his face and head were purple. He had his hand clapped to the side of his head. I thought “dear God, he fell in the shower and bashed his brains out; his hand is what is holding them in.”

I managed to calm down and thought, well he’s not having a heart attack because he’s standing up and he’s not clutching his chest and he’s talking OK. Also, if his brains were in fact bashed out, there would probably be more blood visible.

He said “I think I ruptured my ear drum.” What?  Turns out he was using a Q-tip and started fiddling with the radio in the bathroom.  When he returned his hand to his ear he missed and jammed the offending Q-Tip down his ear hole. Yoowwch.

I’ve been plagued my entire life by persnickety ears and know that it is not something you take a wait and see attitude around. Unless you are just dying to find out what it feels like to have a flaming ice pick shoved in your ear.

I jumped up and said “we’re going to the emergency room… now!” He muttered some vague objections and I repeated, “Get dressed; we’re going to the emergency room now!” I don’t even remember what he said because I was ignoring him. We were going to the Doctor, and I wasn’t taking no for an answer. If his ear is damaged, he’s opened a pathway to get coodies in his middle ear or brain.

We ended up in a walk in clinic near the house. The doctor looked in his ear and said, “Well you’ve ruptured your ear drum.” For some unknown reason I burst out laughing. I tend to do that when stressed out. It was a laughter of relief. I was concerned and relieved at the same time. I recounted what my ear doctor has always told me. “Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.” The doctor chuckled and backed me up. She said “yup, Q-Tips are dangerous items that really don’t belong in your ear.”

So Hubman is OK, thank you God. And has a prescription for antibiotic, pain relieving ear drops and instructions to follow-up with a doctor in 5-7 days to make sure his ear is healing properly.

Back home he talked to his mom. After she finished her freaking out, her question was “well how are you supposed to clean your ears?” The answer is you don’t. Your ears clean themselves.

It’s another case where companies have a product to sell and launch an ad campaign to create a “need” for that product. It’s OK to use Q-Tips on the outer part of your ear, but they do not belong in your ear canal! That little bit of cotton at the end does not change the fact that they are a sharp object. If you absolutely must, make sure you are not multi-tasking at the same time.

12 responses

  1. Thanks God your hubby is okay. Q-tip is really a dangerous little thing. I always feel these stabs whenever I try to push it farther down my ears haha.

    1. Oh good Lord. Those “little stabs” are you ear drum protesting.

  2. My husband did a similar not so benign thing, only he popped a a few pills in his mouth and one went into his windpipe instead of down his throat. It caught there, and he had trouble breathing. In his case, it was an ambulance trip.

    1. Oh my God. Isn’t it strange how life can take such a sudden left turn when you least expect it?

  3. I still use Q-tips, but I’ve learned to be rather careful. Sadly, ears don’t clean themselves. I had the doctor clean wax out of one ear once using some kind of water spray. The room was spinning like a top! Because the eardrums help control balance, spraying all that water on it made me so dizzy I felt sick. But I’ve heard water is the best way to clean out wax.

    1. yes water, not q-tips. The ears are not perfectly function biosphere, unfortunately 🙂 Sometimes things go awry. Have you seen that ad on TV for a ear vacuum? hee hee I’m serious. Maybe that would be better than having yours ears water blasted?

  4. Oh man, I fear that pain! I don’t put them any where near my ears. I remember my stepmum making us sit and let her dig in our ears with them and I’d always be so scared! My mum never did it, so why was this woman?? haha. Glad he’s okay!

    1. I think some people have a Q-Tip fetish, I swear! My second husband was always chasing me around with one. I would get a mental image of 2 monkey grooming each other. 🙂

  5. Yes, my pediatrician told me years ago NEVER to use Q-tips on my daughter’s ears (or my own). I never have. He was a very wise man. And Downton Abbey is an awesome show. Too bad you were disturbed.

    1. Well I have it on Amazon so I can watch it anytime I want to. So it wasn’t a complete tragedy 🙂

  6. Good tips!

    1. LOL yes indeed.

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