At the Crossroads Again

angry catI ran across a joke website a few years ago and it cracked me up laughing. It was a blank page with 2 lines that read “You Have Reached the End of the Internet! It’s time to go outside and get on with your life. I guess there is a limit to things you can find or do on the internet. I’ve researched everything I could possibly imagine 8 ways from Sunday.

So I’m standing at the crossroads again. It’s time to crawl back out of my temporary shell and get on with my life. Oh, if it were that simple. I’m leaving Saturday for a week-long beach trip with 2 girlfriends. Looking forward to the vacation itself, but not looking forward to packing or the airport. And I’m really, really not looking forward to doing the spread eagle in that body scanner machine. It’s just yucky, there’s no other word for it.

I wish that I could just wiggle my nose and magically be on the beach with an ice-cold mojito in my hand. But I have to pack and hate that. I’m afraid that if I start packing too early my cat will get in a snit and pee in my suitcase. Have you ever had the feeling that you have to hide the fact that you’re leaving from your pets? Like you’re doing something wrong and you have to be all furtive about it. But you can’t hide – they know you’re up to something. They’re little furry 4 legged mind readers.

I snuck a load of laundry in today and tried to keep a straight, innocent face. Like “hey, I do laundry all the time – nothing going on here.” Mr. Kitty will bust me though when I start sorting my toiletries and stacking clothes on the bed trying to decide what to bring with me. There’s no fooling him. I wish I could just sit him down and explain “Kitty, it’s true I am leaving town, but the big furry beast, the Hubman, is staying here. You won’t be left alone, God forbid, or packed up in a crate and shipped off to the cat hotel.

Animals are so real. They act on their emotions, no bull about it. “You have offended me oh great one, therefore I shat upon your bath mat!”

But, I’m going anyway; I’m not going to let a cat run my life.

5 responses

  1. Don’t tell the cat he’s not in charge, or something really bad will happen. It’s best just to leave them with their illusions. When my cats are bad, I remind them that 1) I have thumbs, and therefore control the canned food, and 2) they would make lovely throw pillows. I also tell them when I’m leaving, but I also tell them when I’ll be back. That way, they know when to start snubbing me.

    1. LOL. Even if I told him, he wouldn’t buy it. The house and everything in it including the humans are merely parts of his dominion. Being in control of the food is the only leg up we have with him.

      1. God bless opposable thumbs.

  2. It is amazing…..our dog can always tell when we’re going somewhere. Wouldn’t it be nice to just say, “Beam me up, Scottie” and poof, you’re there? Have a great time. The beach sounds wonderful, especially since we’re getting snow yet again here in CO.

    1. Still snow? Gads! It’s already warm here in Texas, but we’re land bound so I’m looking forward to the beach 🙂

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