Dawn of the Living Ants

antsI’ve been making a push to get back to eating healthy unadulterated foods in the house. A brand new gigantic Whole Foods store opened near our house recently and we went a bit overboard shopping the first day. One of things we purchased was some delicious grass-fed rib eye steaks with no added hormones or antibiotics, which the Hubman grilled up Sunday evening. We had the mother-in-law over and made an evening of it.

Last night we snacked on the left over steak and salad right out of the fridge. It was great, just like cold pizza. Mr. Husband put his chunk on a cutting board and sliced off a few slivers as a treat for our dog. Then we went to bed.

This morning I woke up and tottered into the kitchen. The whole kitchen seemed alive. I was standing at the counter resting my hands on it before I realized that what I was seeing through my no spectacles fog was an ant swarm. While I was coming to, the ants started to swarm up my arms. I freaked out and raced to get my glasses, then went into the bathroom to wash my arms.

What I saw in the mirror will haunt me to the end of my days as well as make me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. Let me back up a bit and say that my hair is very thick has a lot of body to it. I also made the mistake of going to bed with wet hair last night. What greeted me in the mirror this morning was a shocked woman who looked like someone had installed a satellite dish on her head during the night and was covered with ants. By this time some of them had made up to my neck and even my face.

A frantic wash down of my face and arms ensued, followed by a bombardment of veggie wash to all the surfaces in the kitchen. The veggie wash I buy is organic and has a strong citrusy smell which the stopped the little buggers in their tracks. I’m glad it worked because I really didn’t want to hose down my entire kitchen with bug poison.

It’s a darn good thing I don’t have any kind of insect phobia because I would have had an early morning rush to the nearest psych ward in the latest style of straight jacket if I did.

The thing with ants is that I think we are collectively smarter than we are. They know where the nutrition is.  If we get lazy and leave junk food on the counter at night nothing happens. But leave out a cutting board with just a little bit of juice from a healthy grass-fed steak and every ant in the Tri State area will swarm to your house while calling their friends.

So my morning started out pretty wild and wacky. I think it’s going to be an interesting day.

8 responses

  1. I was lucky with ant season this year, until I got the floors redone. They now have some new cracks and slivers to get through, so I have new places to spray. I use a pet/environment friendly brand called EcoSmart that works pretty well.

    1. Oh, thanks for the heads up. I’ll have to check that EcoSmart stuff out. 🙂

  2. There’s some good recipes for healthy, organic, gluten-free, and non-GMO foods @ gratefultable.com, if you haven’t visited there before. What an exciting morning you had! Great story!

  3. Like an episode of the Twilight Zone! Good point….if bugs won’t eat it, is it really food?

    1. LOL yea it was twilight zone with a slapstick element. And yea I think if bugs don’t go for it, that’s a clue right there that it’s empty calories – no nutrition. A long time ago I did a little experiment with white rice and brown rice. I left a teeny bit of each in a dish on the counter over night. The ants were all over the brown rice and none where on the white rice. I did the same with regular white sugar vs. cane sugar. Same thing – they ignored the white sugar and went for the cane sugar.

      1. Cool experiments!

  4. You are much calmer than I would have been! Some of the ants we have in our neighbourhood like to bite. I remember some of the ones in Texas do too. It is amazing how some of the most painful bites come from the tiniest little critters.

    1. Yes, the fire ants in Texas pack a nasty bite. Fortunately these were the little black sugar ants. I think I was calm because if I had lost it the neighbors would have to call the police and Hubman would have a heart attack.

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