Airlines are Big Fat Lying Liars!

large passengerI didn’t really like to fly, but I’m not afraid of it and it’s the best way to get from point A to point B, in my opinion. I like the train, but don’t always want to spend 3 – 6 days of my travel time on the train especially if said travel time is limited. Yea, I know they say getting there is part of the journey, but sometimes I want to get there in hurry and then begin my journey.

All the major American airlines have been sputtering and beating around the bush for years, claiming they are not shrinking the seats. I beg to differ, I may have put on a few pounds over the years, but my bones are the same size and my hip bones are getting closer to the arm rests. The last couple of times I flew I noticed that I could not get my elbows down by my side without getting squished by the arm rests. I refuse to believe that I have packed on enough armpit fat to cause this!

And now on to my backpack. It’s made out of inorganic rip stop nylon. It does not stretch or gain weight. I’ve been using the same pack for 10 years. It looks exactly the same as the day I bought it. I could stick it back on the shelf and call it new. A few days ago I boarded the plane to come home from New Orleans. I went to slip my backpack under the seat and chunk, it didn’t fit. I’m looking at it thinking “what the hell?” I finally managed to cram it up under there using my feet, but pulling it back out to remove any content during the flight was probably not an option. And I was left with basically no place to put my feet, which are attached to my body and cannot be placed in the overhead bin. “Hello? Airline People, are you listening?”

There are many theories as to why there is an increase in flight rage and unruly passengers on air planes. My theory is that if the airlines keep working their sleight of hand and cramming passengers into smaller and smaller spaces until it is physically painful to remain twisted like contortionists, the situation is only going to get worse. I hope to God that some idiot doesn’t manage to ban alcohol on airplanes. Sometimes having a good stiff drink is the only way I can tolerate spending hours upon hours with one leg wrapped around my head and the other crammed in between my carry on and the hairy bare-legged shorts wearing dude in the seat next to me. If anything they should ban shorts on planes. I really do not appreciate rubbing bare thighs with people with whom I have not been introduced.

2 responses

  1. Haha! There’s no such thing as personal space in planes anymore. Although I think I can forgive cramped spaces much more easily than I can those loud, obnoxious passengers.

    1. There will probably be riots on planes if the airlines decide to allow people to use their cell phones during flight. Could you imagine having some jack ass blathering 6 inches away from your head on a flight? I’d probably get arrested for trying to beat them to death with their own phone.

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