When You Can Only Endure

Sometimes I find myself stuck in a situation where the only way out is through. The only thing I can actively do is endure and live through it.

My mother-in-laws twin sister is dying. She had a massive stroke a few days ago. At the moment I’m in the agony of indecision. Aunt Betty is in a hospital 5 hours away from here. She is not alone. Her son and husband are with her. My agony is that I feel very strongly the need to go there to say good-bye to her. Her sister (my mother-in-law) does not want to go. She says she doesn’t want to remember her this way.

She also says that if Betty regains consciousness and sees her there she will know something is really wrong. Well yea! Excuse me, but she is dying and I’d be willing to be cash money that she knows it.

So I’m torn. If I insist on going and do in fact go by myself to see her am I being selfish? Am I leaving my husband here alone to deal with his mother if she does die while I am gone to visit her sister?

I don’t know what to do. I know what I want to do, what I feel I need to do. The only thing I’m doing at the moment is sitting around wanting to rip my hair out. I’m so frustrated. So for now I endure.

5 responses

  1. Do whatever you need to do. ((Hugs))

  2. At the risk of sounding cliche you won´t regret what you did but what you didn´t do. Go. There is a reason you have the need even if it´s hard to explain. Your mother in law will be fine with her son and you will be fine if you say goodbye. Go.

  3. I am very familiar with your situation – I enjoyed reading over the details of your post, it provided me a great energy! Bravo!

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