Confessions of a Sports Non-enthusiast

I’ve been re-inventing myself after the soul shattering and untimely demise of my grandson. As mentioned in my previous post I’m in the red lava angry phase of letting go. Fueled by this anger I’ve decided to be brutally honest about a subject that seems downright silly to get worked up about in the grand scheme of things. But so what? This is my one and only life. I’ve used up 59 years of it already and I’m not wasting any more of it doing things that I hate to do.

So here goes; I HATE “TEAM” SPORTS. To me it is a violent brutal activity witnessed by a crazed mob, similar to goings on in the old Roman coliseum. I’d rather crawl on my belly naked across a field of broken glass with a rusty spoon in my eye than watch it, talk about it, speculate on coming events, chose sports memorabilia, or give the tiniest bit of a rat’s ass about it.

Why don’t I just avoid it you may ask? Well here’s the deal. I married into a band of in-laws who are all sports fanatics and seem to think that there is something odd and unsavory about a person who is not interested in sports. They all seem to think that if they just explain how wonderful it is that I will eventually have some sort of epiphany, or personality transplant and see the light.

Also every year Mr. Husband and I are given tickets to various sporting events as Christmas presents so I’m supposed lie to myself and them and pretend to be all grateful and write thank you cards for something that I get the rolling heaves even thinking about. It seems like I’m participating in a big fat charade at my expense.

To me it’s a point of principle. I’ve been with Mr. Husband and his band of merry relatives for ELEVEN years now. One would thing that my ongoing statements that I’m not in to sporting events would have sunk in by now, but NOooOo. I know Hubman wants to us to have something that we like to do together. Violent seething screaming crowds of people foaming at the mouth about who stuffs a ball in some opening or across some line, or in a net, is just not my cup of tea. Now I’d be down for a punk rock slam dance fest complete with crowd surfing. But that’s too up close and real, can’t do that from your kingly EZ boy lounger, or sitting up in the bleachers. You gotta get down in there and do it all out.

To me there is a time and place for violence and “having fun” is not one of those times. The time and place for violence is reserved for a situation where actual violence is called for because it has actually erupted. Examples; suddenly finding yourself swept up in an angry mob that you have to fight your way out of, some idiot comes through your front door with an ax, a crazed car jacker tries to pull you out of your car by your hair, etc. (I actually experienced the attempt to drag me out of the car by my hair thing. It was not fun, but I got away – minus a hand full of hair)

So there ya have it. I hate team sports. So sue me. So sorry Mr. Husband, I know this is a big disappointment to you, but I’ve been trying to tell you this for 11 damned years. It’s not my fault that you don’t listen.

11 responses

  1. I think it’s fantastic that you don’t care about team sports at all. Enjoy music or art or museums or reading instead. That’s your choice. Bravo! At various points in my days, I make sure to spend time appreciating all of that because they give me great pleasure. And I am a sports, fan, too, though. So I fit it all in.

    Now I must say that you appear to be as judgmental about them as they are about you.

    1. LOL I have nothing against sports fans…UNTIL they insist that I participate. I hide in my office with headphones on when my husband watches a football game. The reason being that I forget about it and then I hear thunderous screaming and cursing out of the blue and it scares the living shit out of me 🙂

      1. Yeah, they should not try to pull you in when you do not want any part of it!

        1. I know right??? What really cracks me up is that my darling husband used to expect me to not only watch the game with him but COOK for the group coming over. Don’t even get me started on cooking, that’s another thing I don’t want any part of.. 😛

          1. 1. Pin take out delivery numbers to refrigerator with magnet.
            2. Leave for movie theater/concert venue/library/shopping center/friend’s house 30 minutes before game time.
            3. Ask who won when you get home to be polite.
            4. <3

  2. I hear you. I do happen to like football and tennis, but that’s about it for me and sports. And while I like them, I don’t understand rabid, foaming at the mouth people who act like who wins the game is tantamount to becoming king of the world. It’s a stinking game! Yeah, it can be fun to watch (and yell at the TV a little), but then it’s over and life goes on. All these people who take sports so seriously need to start watching the news, and see what serious really is.

    1. LOL the news is pretty scary, I need to drink beer to watch it or take a xanax.

  3. Hi. Have to agree with you both. I played lots of sports as a teen and young man but as far as televised sports go I could also give a rats ass. Yes Ed we are aberrations for sure. O’well , never worried about it before and to late to care now. Cry me a river………………………….HoboJoe

    1. Hi billybob, thanks for stopping by 🙂

  4. Ed Helvey - The Professional Nomad | Reply

    I couldn’t fail to agree with you more. Hey! I’m a guy and all the jock heads and Monday Morning Quarterbacks may think I’m a wimp or gay or something, Doesn’t bother me in the least. Like you said, it’s like watching a bunch of gladiators. I wouldn’t pay half or less of what tickets cost to go see a game live, I don’t get fulfilled making sure some beer companies and fast food snack companies make a ton of money off me with their incessant commercials. I really don’t care about the team owners getting richer, regardless of the sport. And the players – well, why in hell should I become enamored over some lunkhead who was able to learn to sign his signature instead of an X on a multi-tens of millions of dollars contract. And then they expect me to buy their “branded, licensed, WAY over priced junk!

    I was in Hawaii once during Super Bowl Weekend. The team of people i I was there with (we were there professionally on a project) preferred to sit in our hotel watching the Super Bowl than watch the whales in the straits between Maui, where we were, and Lana’i. Their loss, my gain. There’s more loyalty to these muscle heads than to our service men and women who get paid a pittance to preserve the right for people to waste priceless time and countless money watching the gladiators. Oh yeah, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about the sniveling, whiny “babies” who want me to care that they screwed up their brains and their bodies, fully well knowing they were doing it for the MONEY! And, if they screwed up their brains and start assaulting their spouses, fiance’s, kids and even people on the street – there is a place for them, it’s called JAIL. But, geez! I guess I’m just un-American.


    1. Yee ha! I don’t think you are un American at all. Well said. You said all the stuff that I would have said, but I try to keep my rants to 700 words or less 😛

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