So on this ongoing knockdown I indulged myself in a one-on-one consultation with my beloved art teacher. Wish I had done this a lot sooner. Tons of food for thought. Quite literally had to go take a nap to mentally digest all the things we talked about.
I shared some of my fears, or perhaps negative self talk. 1) My paintings never seem to look “finished.” 2) My art work looks immature and amateurish.
The first thing she said was something to the effect of “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but we all have these fears. Doesn’t matter how many years or decades you’ve been an artist.”She pointed out that I am a fast artist. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As a result I tend to finish a painting way before class is over. Then I keep slapping paint on top of it because I think I should still be doing so.
Point 2) my work looks immature and amateurish. She pointed out that the particular class I’m in, most of the women are doing very tradition work. Landscapes, portraits of grandchildren, pets, etc. If I compare my work, which is pretty abstract, to the work of others in my class I see that it’s different. I’ve been making the mistake of thinking that different equals bad. She pointed out that my fears on this regard are pretty common also.
So this is a lot to contemplate while I remain in seclusion because of this Covid lock-down. I feel lucky that I have room to work at home. However, I need to get off my butt and take advantage of it.
So happy Saturday to all of you. I hope you’re staying sane and safe during this rather bizarre time in human history.