Tag Archives: ant swarm

Dawn of the Living Ants

antsI’ve been making a push to get back to eating healthy unadulterated foods in the house. A brand new gigantic Whole Foods store opened near our house recently and we went a bit overboard shopping the first day. One of things we purchased was some delicious grass-fed rib eye steaks with no added hormones or antibiotics, which the Hubman grilled up Sunday evening. We had the mother-in-law over and made an evening of it.

Last night we snacked on the left over steak and salad right out of the fridge. It was great, just like cold pizza. Mr. Husband put his chunk on a cutting board and sliced off a few slivers as a treat for our dog. Then we went to bed.

This morning I woke up and tottered into the kitchen. The whole kitchen seemed alive. I was standing at the counter resting my hands on it before I realized that what I was seeing through my no spectacles fog was an ant swarm. While I was coming to, the ants started to swarm up my arms. I freaked out and raced to get my glasses, then went into the bathroom to wash my arms.

What I saw in the mirror will haunt me to the end of my days as well as make me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants. Let me back up a bit and say that my hair is very thick has a lot of body to it. I also made the mistake of going to bed with wet hair last night. What greeted me in the mirror this morning was a shocked woman who looked like someone had installed a satellite dish on her head during the night and was covered with ants. By this time some of them had made up to my neck and even my face.

A frantic wash down of my face and arms ensued, followed by a bombardment of veggie wash to all the surfaces in the kitchen. The veggie wash I buy is organic and has a strong citrusy smell which the stopped the little buggers in their tracks. I’m glad it worked because I really didn’t want to hose down my entire kitchen with bug poison.

It’s a darn good thing I don’t have any kind of insect phobia because I would have had an early morning rush to the nearest psych ward in the latest style of straight jacket if I did.

The thing with ants is that I think we are collectively smarter than we are. They know where the nutrition is.  If we get lazy and leave junk food on the counter at night nothing happens. But leave out a cutting board with just a little bit of juice from a healthy grass-fed steak and every ant in the Tri State area will swarm to your house while calling their friends.

So my morning started out pretty wild and wacky. I think it’s going to be an interesting day.

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