Tag Archives: cranky relatives

Destination Weddings – Please Spare me

extreme wedding

Extreme Wedding - Yeeee Haaaa

Ah, the Destination Wedding. Please spare me the joy. I’ve traipsed down the aisle to wedded bliss three times now. This last one is going to stick if for no other reason than I’m never doing it again!

Awww, big hugs to you Mr. Husband, I love you with all my heart and even more than my luggage. But honey, if you dropped dead tomorrow, I would spent the rest of my life being a merry widow. No one could replace you! ?! (Wonder if I get extra kudos for that) OK, I’m old and bit jaded. So what’s your point?

Young brides, please listen to me. I know that a wedding is your special day.  But in the big picture, it’s just one day. Do you really want to start out your married life by alienating all your friends and relatives? A destination wedding is the ultimate scenario of “I want Daddy and everyone else to fund my fantasies” and it goes downhill from there.

Ladies, if you want to get married in a tree house in Borneo wearing fig leaves and a fruit hat. Go for it. Just don’t expect us all to troop over to Borneo with you. Wouldn’t it be more romantic to have a small private ceremony with just the Groom , the minister, and few close friends who want to be there?

Going on a trip is an expensive and exhausting proposition and should only be undertaken when people are going where they want to go for the reason they want to go there. For some of us it may be the only trip we can afford for several years or decades. If the economy keeps sliding down the tube.  Hee hee, I had to slip that in there just for hell of it.

make up disaster

Related to the Bride or Groom?

There are many things I’d rather do than pay big bucks to spend a few days cooped up with gaggle of cranky relatives and in-laws I only see once a year at an open bar. Some of my in-laws have made it excruciatingly clear that is how they feel about me also, just for the record. I never understand that.  I’m such a likable person and I’m neeeever sarcastic or snide, when I’m asleep. Which I will be after 3 beers.

Another thing that gets me after these destination weddings is that it kind of feels like I’m invited to the honeymoon. I’m always tempted to go bang on the newlywed’s heart shaped door and yell “hey, what’s with you two??? The party is still rocking. I came all the way to Borneo to see you two kids hanging all over each other, being all lovey dovey.  In luv 4ever. So get down to the pool pronto. Make it snappy!”… “And put some damn Visine in your eyes, we’re taking pictures!” Lots of pictures, thousands of pictures.

I guess I should be honored to be invited to the wedding. And I am, but hey.

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