You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. The Bible – International Standard Version (©2008)
Grandson has a ginormous log in his eye. No wonder he can’t see past the end of his nose. His latest habit is pointing out tiny little errors made by the contractors who remodeled our bathrooms. For someone who needs glasses and refuses to wear them, it’s amazing the minute details of the mistakes of others he notices.
This makes me extremely uncomfortable because it causes my life to flash before my eyes…again. How many times have I done this? Too many times to count. I get this mental image of signing up for vacation bible school for remedial guidance and getting one of those teeny little day care chairs stuck on my hips.
I finally snapped at Grandson and said “let me tell you what went on with the professional painters, Mr. Perfect!”
- The professionals didn’t take a week and a half to do something that should have taken 2 days.
- They didn’t stop every 5 minutes to yak on their cell phone.
- They didn’t take a 20 minute smoke break every hour.
- They didn’t pretend to ask my advice so they could argue with me every hour on the hour.
- They didn’t track paint all over the house.
- They didn’t spend half their time pointing out the errors made by previous workmen.
- I didn’t have drag them out of bed every morning, get them to work and then supervise them all damned day.
- They cleaned up after themselves and didn’t leave a mess from the clean up all over the kitchen sink and faucet.
- They did this clean up the very day they finished. (not 3 days later) And did it so well that the only way I even knew they were in the house was painted walls and a bill to pay.
So grasshopper. When you have crossed all of the critiques above off you list of work ethic problems; THEN and only then can will we treat you as a professional painter. End of lecture.