Tag Archives: Elective surgery

Leaving on a Jet Plane

jet plane

can I take a jet to the airport?

My bags are packed – I’m ready to go. I’m leaving on a jet plane – Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Sorry, broke into song there for a minute. I do know when I’ll be back again…Monday. Why am I leaving? The answer is: Mother decided to have elective surgery without telling anyone until the very last-minute.

Talked to her day before yesterday and she said she was packing to go up to Chicago on the train and oh, by the way, she’s having surgery. It’s an elective procedure to reverse a previous cosmetic procedure done about 40 years ago when she was at the height of her modeling career. You can probably take a wild guess at what it is. It involves the removal of 2 grapefruits from the front of her anatomy.

I thought I would have time to process the info and make plans to go up there all in due time. Then I found out last night that the surgery is TODAY?!!?? What the hell?? Mother, why do you do this to me, to us? I know you’re a grown woman and free to make your own decisions, but you have 4 daughters and 2 sons who flip out when you go off with warning. Is this payback for all the crap we put you through?

So anyway, a whirlwind of last-minute ticketing at last-minute prices ensued along with a fury of repacking. The one time in my life that I unpacked right away was from last weekends wedding. If I’d just left my suitcase sitting there untouched for days like I usually do,  I wouldn’t even need to pack at all. Just launder some clothes, throw them back in the bag and good to go.

Not quite sure if I’m flying to Chicago to be with my mother because I’m concerned or if I’m flying up there to strangle her, or both. Mom does things her own way and in her own time. Which is usually at the last damn minute. Makes it a little difficult to shift around ones chess pieces to catch up. This could in fact be her unconscious and diabolic plan all along. Doesn’t give anyone time to talk “sense” into her. If there is such a thing. Who knows?

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