And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
Christana Perri, A Thousand Years – Lyrics- Featured in the Twilight Saga
To all of you out there that think that romanctical stuff is all fuzzy wuzzy, and silly; I want to warn you – Don’t dis romance. If your partner gets all choked up in the face of romance movie or novel, don’t forget that you are a part of this. They get way more choked up around their love for you than they do about any “silly” romance movie or novel. You are an integral part of their belief system.
If you poo poo your or shoot down your romantically natured partner you are actually shooting your relationship in the foot. Some of us are just hard-wired for intense feelings. Some of them not so pleasant but when we feel good, we feel really really good!
So ride the wave baby, go with the flow. Don’t squelch romantic inclinations in your partner. In the end, if you do this, you lose. I don’t mean to imply that you are heartless or don’t really care about your partner, far from it. We all have different ways of expressing emotions. Some of us don’t do it at all. Then there are those of us who want to build a 50 foot high pink heart on the front lawn for Valentine’s Day. We may not actually do this for fear of getting laughed it, but the desire is still there.
My love for the Hubman is incredibly intense. So intense that I often freeze up and don’t do or say anything about it at all. He tends to shy away from intense emotionally displays except for the macho-man acceptable topics, sports, politics, etc. I actually told him once that I was jealous of football because that is the only time I see him display emotions; rage, joy, disgust, elation. Politics really gets him going, but it doesn’t do a thing for me. I always want to put my hands over my ears to block it out.
Things that get me jacked up are what is happening right here, right now. A pretty flower, a baby’s smile, a beautiful sunset – not speculations on what may or may not be happening on the other side of the globe.
Mr. Hubman drives a huge Ford F150 truck and there are times I think he loves the truck more than me. Is this a macho man’s version of a romance novel, I wonder? I told him once that if he loved that damned truck so much why didn’t he just go sleep in it. He ignored me. (the very nerve!)
Maybe the point I’m trying to make here is; don’t trivialize someone else’s passion, even if you don’t quite understand it.
All of me
why not take all of me
Can’t you see
I’m a mess without you
You took the part
that used to be my heart
So why not take all of me?
Ah Mr. Husband, a walking enigma. This is technically a marriage adventure blog, But I seem to talk about everything but marriage. Over morning coffee it occurred to me that he is so much a part of my life now that I rarely think about it. What a blessing that is to be so sure of something that you don’t give it much thought. But that’s taking him for granted.
Part of me wants to him to take me for granted though. What I mean by that, is that my love is a constant, deep down below the day to day silliness of life. When we first got together, every time we had a dust up he went straight to “well are you leaving?” That would make me rip my hair out and go into frustration overdrive.
Finally I snapped and said “Oh no you don’t! you’re not getting rid of me that easy, Bubba. We are gonna work this out or die trying. “ And we almost did. No violence, just dark boiling thunderclouds of moping, pouting, anger, yelling, and then silence. The dead silence that comes right before a Tornado is about to blow the roof off your house. He refers it as going straight to DEFCON 1.
That lovely old song “Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s gone” seems so true when you are not speaking with your best friend. The Hub-man and I grew up in different houses, of course. His family is the oh so proper, we are better than that, type. We won’t yell, or be overtly uncouth. But we will rip you to shreds with sarcasm and veiled or out right obvious barbs if the occasion calls for it. He had one brother old enough that Hub spent some of his life as an only child.
My family is almost stereotypical Irish Catholic, non practicing. The church part, not the drinking. With 6 kids, I gay-run-tee there were heated discussions. I’m putting that nicely, we had and still do have, some rip-snorting blow outs. I remember one of my siblings winging a jar of mayo at me and I thrashed them with a sofa cushion. But no one ever called the cops on us. Maybe that’s because we were not the noisiest people on the block.
So Mr. Husband and I come together in Holy Matrimony and foolishly think, as all newlyweds do, no matter what their age, that love will conquer all. But at the end of the day, love and a healthy dose of respect does conquer all. We are living proof because we’re not dead.
Here is a man who went to airport last week, expecting to pick up his lovely wife, gone for almost 3 weeks. Instead he found a wounded harpy, spewing tears like a fire hose, accusing him of not loving her (enough.) He eventually calmed me down, handed me a box of tissue, fed me (always a good idea,) and convinced me to go the doctor.
Now that’s love! What more can I say? What a guy.
leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills.
My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away;
let me see your face, let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet, and your face is comely.
My beloved is mine and I am his.
Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm; for love is strong as death, jealousy is cruel as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, a most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,neither can floods drown it.
(Song of Solomon 2: 8-10,14,16a. 8:6-7a)