Tag Archives: meetings

What Part of “Bite Me” Do You Not Understand?


There will always be people who think that calling endless meetings make them important.  That’s corporate life, it will never change. These perpetual meeting machines are a legend in their own mind. “Let’s see if you dare not attend, HA! … Where were you?” … “Uh, bite me!”  Is that sufficiently clear and concise, or would you prefer I use visual aids? As in I beat you over the head with your project manual?”

Unspoken rules prevent you from saying “I was asleep in the  bath room.”  The very thought of another one of your meetings knocked me out better than an Ambien and a shot of Jack Daniels. Honey Pie, if you could bottle this, the drug companies would either hire you or have you killed.”

If you do dare to be absent, the meeting snoreganizer will mention some pathetic drivel of  info that she will withhold from non-attending slackers. At the next meeting she will point out with fiendish glee, that you would know that if you had been at the last meeting. Oh really? That assumes I was listening to you. Not.

Today there is a meeting that 10 of us must attend. The person who called the meeting will not be there. The only topic for the meeting is that ONE person needs to say when she is going to put her documents from previous years in a box to ship off to storage. This ONE person must tell the meeting organizer her answer.

It has nothing to do with anyone but the Project manager and this one procrastinator. So 10 of us are going to sit in a room for 30 minutes twiddling our thumbs and examining the ceiling fixtures. Could this answer be handled with an email? Or course, but that is not the point.   To seem professional this issue  must be handled in the most tedious manner possible. Usually with a 50 page Powerpoint Presentation to add to the festivities.

This project manager will of course call another meeting because she did not attend this meeting. Oh Lord, give me patience to not strangle her. Only 9 days to go and I won’t have to put up with this nonsense. I’ll be laughing all the way to airport. Wonder if I could learn how to jump up and click my heels together before next Friday?

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