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Productize + Monetize = Expensive and Not So Fun Anymore

privacyThe person who lives inside my head seems to enjoy making up equations to explain life. The latest equations to pop out is:

P + M = ENFA (Expensive and Not So Fun Anymore)

The P From Net Lingo stands for Productize= Another one of the many “ize” words that the online business community is so fond of. Basically, it means to take something that is not a product and turn it into a product. In the tech world, one turns a raw technologyy into a marketable product (with the goal of  monetizing it). Individuals can turn their skills and talents into products too, in fact most companies have already “productized” their customer service departments.

Investopedia explains Monetize: For example, you’ll often hear Internet marketers talk about “monetizing website visitors.” This is another way of saying that the marketers are trying to figure out a way of making money from website visitors, such as through advertising, e-commerce, etc.

Now, I have nothing against profit. We all need it to make a living somehow, someway. But, the push to monetize every moment of our daily lives is one of the major reasons we have no privacy anymore. Not that we ever did really, but now your every minute is scrutinized and analyzed to look for some way to squeeze another penny out of you. Ever wonder why they ask you for your zip code even when you pay cash? Some data crunching company somewhere is analyzing spending habits by zip code. I always say “no, thank you” when asked for personal information. The thank you part usually confuses the clerk enough to skip past the request.


Telemarketers from Hell

I don’t give out my phone number when asked either. It may come as a shock even to those who know me, but I don’t really like to talk on the phone. And I really, really don’t like to talk on the phone to some stranger asking me personal questions for a “survey.” I make an exception for my sister because I do love to talk to her, even on the phone. No matter what we talk about, I am happy for the rest of the day. I should call her more often.

I enjoy talking to people in person. Love, love, love it! Some of the happiest moments of my life happen in the midst of talking to Mr. Husband, family and friends.

Unfortunately, my daughter  is a big reason for the phone phobia. I love her with every beat of my heart and every breath I take. However, when the phone rings and I see her number on the caller ID I think, “Oh God, now what?” The little darling only calls me when she is in trouble and/or wants money. She’s 40 years old and still hasn’t figured out the concept that at some point we are all responsible for our own actions and the consequences of said actions.

One her half brothers gave her laptop so now Tech Support calls are another reason (excuse) to call me at 2:00 am.

Daughter: Mom, my computer has a virus and I can’t get online with it. (thank God, she’s not spreading it around)

Mom: How did this happen? Do you have anti-virus software installed?

Daughter: Well no, I was going to but I got busy, and I don’t know how. (says the Queen of Excuses)

Mom: So…you couldn’t call me at a more reasonable hour to ask me about this?

Daughter: Well I’m taking a class at a community college and I have a paper due tomorrow.

Mom: So you thought waiting until the middle of the night before the paper was due to write it was a good idea?

Daughter: Well, it’s due tomorrow so I have to write it tonight and email it to my teacher. (the waiting until the last-minute part zooms right over her head)

Mom: I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do at this point to help you at this point. Perhaps you should have called me when you got the laptop, say… a year ago?

Daughter: You don’t love me anymore, you never did!

Mom: ***sigh*** you’re right I guess. I only spent decades of my life raising you up for the grins and giggles.

How did I get from P + M = ENFA to whining about my daughter? Only the shadow knows.

Phone Photo above from Voicegals post: Phone Phobia

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