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To Bra or Not to Bra – That is the Question

To Bra or Not to Bra, That is the Question.

Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of mature breasts. Or to take arms against a sea of uncomfortable brassieres, and by opposing end them?

Who invented corsets anyway? Who ever did, if they were still alive, should be shot at dawn after much ceremony. Think about it. One person, or small group of people, is responsible for the suffering of billions of women. People have done 30 days in the hole for a lot less.

The founder of the modern brassiere was Mary Phelps Jacob. She used 2 silk handkerchiefs and a ribbon because she didn’t want to wear a corset to a party. Can you blame her? It was a step in the right direction.

Mary would be rolling over in her grave if she saw the bras of today. She would return to her grave if she had to wear one! Are these hideous contraptions ever tried on a living breathing female before released on the market? I don’t care how much lace and cute little flowers you attach to a barbed wire fence. It’s still barb-wire.

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Got suckered yet again recently and bought a cami-bra. According the sales woman this was part bra part camisole. The greatest invention since sliced bread, intended to cover your naughtiness should you lean forward near a poor unsuspecting male of the species.

And soooo comfortable. All this said with a straight face. This lady missed her calling as a world-class poker player. My newly acquired instrument of torture had daggers concealed in the seams, I swear! I bent forward for something and got jabbed in the armpit so brutally that I gasped from pain. It went in the trash as soon as I got home.

I am convinced that the only reason women are not ruling the world at this very moment is because they are constantly fiddling with their bra. Or out shopping for one that is comfortable. Oh wait, we are running the world. Well, my theories are not always rational.

OK, I know I am decades past the whole “burn your bra” movement, but I was a teeny bopper at that time. Didn’t need to wear one and didn’t, but no one noticed…then.

Going bra-less was fine when my bosoms where positioned correctly. Today is a different story. Despite all the lies told to me, they have headed south, as nature intended. “Oh girl, you should wear a bra at all times or your breasts will be down to your knees when you are 50.” HA! I’m 56 and they are not, but whatever.

Riddle me this. No one convinced men that they should were a jock strap 24/7 or their twins would be down at their knees. Or maybe they believed, but didn’t care. A more likely story.

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